chapter 1

Emily P.O.V - 620


10th January 2015


8:20am


I can not believe it’s January already, last year just went by so quickly! I’ve got a good feeling about 2015, not that 2014 was a bad year but I was still so unsure about myself, I was still fighting a battle with myself. Last January I promised I’d stick to a diet and get back to 300 pound but I couldn’t, I could barely make it 2 days before I’d give in to my gluttonous urges and binge ate for days at a time!


On the 30th of April I promised I’d diet properly, I literally ate everything in the house just so I couldn’t be tempted, god I was so stuffed but I thought it’d be worth it. So the next morning soon came around and my diet had started, I was trying something new ‘intermittent fasting’ basically I’d fast for 16 hours then have a 8 hour eating window, i was sure this was the diet for me! I woke up a 7am...by 10am I was in McDonald’s devouring 2 sausage and egg McMuffins! I was a fucking failure, I just couldn’t diet!


An hour later I returned home, carrying 4 shopping bags bursting with all kinds of unhealthy snacks, I instantly stripped naked, sat on the sofa and tucked into the first shopping bag. Half an hour later the bag was empty and I was full rubbing my belly with satisfaction, that’s when i realised I was happy, more the happy actually, I was ecstatic! Eating made me feel good, so why stop? What was the point of dieting and only eating rabbit food, I didn’t need to impress anyone or stay skinny just because society told me to! I grabbed the second bag and pulled out a box of 4 Krispy Kremes...that was the day I decided to let go and do what made me happy...eat! Fuck the consequences and fuck what anyone else thought!


Luckily Tom didn’t seem to care, in fact he seemed to encourage me, he made sure food was always within arms reach, he bought me a big TV, Xbox, PS4, a brand new laptop and set it all up in the bedroom so I didn’t even need to get out of bed if I didn’t want to! Plus if I was playing a game he would actually hand feed me, I was a little shy at first but I didn’t take me long to get used to someone feeding me, to be honest I now prefer it!


Letting go was the best decision I’ve ever made, hence why I’m feeling positive about starting this year with no worries, it like a massive weight has been taken off my shoulders....although technically a massive amount of weight has been added to my shoulders, eating whatever I want whenever I want without having to lift a finger has caused the weight to pile on! Ive gone from weighing 488 pound in May to 620 pound in January, 132 pound gained in 36 weeks! That’s more then 3 pound a week gained! Although letting go have caused my appetite to increase so much, I’m eating double what I could 6 months ago! I’m not complaining though, I see it as a positive because I fucking love eating!


I must admit it was a bit of a shock hitting 600 pound, like I always thought 600 pound was this big scary number that only bedbound people weigh but it’s not actually that bad, yeah I do struggle getting out of bed and off the sofa, walking is tough and I get out of breath easily but I’m certainly not immobile! The only thing I really need help with is showering myself, I’m to fat to reach around my whole body but I just get Tom to do it, it’s not a big deal.


It’s a shame Toms has to go to work with his dad today, i really can’t be bothered to get out of bed just yet but I don’t really have a choice, my belly is rumbling demanding to be fed haha! Tom did make me breakfast in bed this morning like he does every morning but that was nearly an hour ago! Let me just check my phone before I attempt to get out of bed first, you never know Tom might be on his way home already....